The Little Prince — He Who Has No Name


The world is waiting with bated breath to find out what the name of the newest British royal will be.  Some no doubt find a fascination with this current event puzzling.  But would you rather hear about a baby name or shootings at Waffle House?  Yes, that’s what I thought.  Baby names it is then.

In case you have been living under a rock, let me inform you that Kate Middleton gave birth to her third child with hubby Prince William earlier this week.  Although she was able to recover quickly from childbirth and sashay out of her luxurious hospital suite impeccably coiffed and attired less than seven hours after birth, naming her second son is taking Kate a tad more time.  In fact, we are at three days and counting.

Why the delay?  It’s not like Kate and her beloved Wills have not had sufficient time to consider this parental task.  Because she suffered from  hyperemenis gravidarum (exteme nausea) which impacted her ability to carry out official duties, Kate’s pregnancy was announced way back in early in September.  Accordingly, the royal couple was on notice quite some time ago that a baby name would be needed in a few months.

Oddsmakers are having a field day with what name the bouncing baby boy will be given.  Apparently the British will bet on anything.  Here in the former colonies we are more concerned with betting on what team will be named the champion than what name some newborn will have placed on his birth certificate.  Arthur and Albert are the odds on favorites for a name choice.  Arthur is more royal a name as it evokes images of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table.  I personally think of Fat Albert and not a prince when I heard the name Albert. Thumbs down on that choice from me.

While I do not know what Prince George and Princess Charlotte’s little bro will be named, I can tell you what he will NOT be named.  This bouncing baby boy weighed in at a whopping 8 lbs. 7 oz, the heaviest British royal baby in over 100 years.  Despite their baby’s large size, Wills and Kate are too proper to name their BIG bundle of joy Bruiser.  The baby is the third child for the couple, but Trey is just too preppy to befit a royal.  Toss that one out with the baby’s bath water.

Commoners frequently turn to baby books to peruse thousands of names available for a moniker for their offspring.  Somehow I do not picture Wills and Kate pouring over such a resource and discussing names such as Jaxon, Owen, Hunter and Brayden during afternoon tea.

Perhaps the royal couple would like to make a political statement with the name they choose for the latest addition to their family. “Donald” might be considered for improving relations with the former colonies n/k/a the United States.  Then, again, maybe not.  After that ugly spy poisoning incident, relations with Russia are at rock bottom.  Maybe “Vladimir” could be used for some friendlier relations with the Putin regime.  Unfortunately, that choice is not too subtle and would receive the diplomatic thumbs down.  The Queen seemed quite taken with dashing Canadian PM Justin Trudeau.  Great-grandma could have her own tiny Justin to make her blush if that name is chosen.

Many baby names are taken from popular figures in books or movies.  “James,” as in Bond, James Bond, would be pretty awesome.  I mean even the Queen make a clip with James Bond for the London Olympics.  How could she object?  Then there’s “Elton.”  Sir Elton John was a good friend of Diana’s and is a music legend.  Uh, no.  Grandma Camilla would never stand for that.  (She and Diana were not exactly BFF’s.)

Since the British monarch is heavy on tradition, a family name is a safe bet for the name with which the infant will be saddled — er, will have bestowed upon him.  And to be precise, Mum and Dad will need to come up with not one but several names.  Prince William’s name is William Arthur Philip Louis.  Uncle Harry is Henry Charles Albert David.  Grandpa is Charles Philip Arthur George.

One thing we do know for sure.  The child’s surname is Windsor.  The royal family’s official last name has been Windsor since World War I.  In 1917 the name was changed to Windsor from Saxe-Coburg and Gotha due to anti-German sentiment. (Not to mention that the former name was too long and tedious to write.)  Even Windsor is too long for Queen Elizabeth who merely signs, “Elizabeth R.”  with the “R” standing for “Regina” (Queen).

Whatever the little prince is named, he will ultimately grow up to be Prince Charming.  Whether he is good-looking or not and whether he is actually charming or not will be irrelevant.  He will be a real live prince and in line to succeed to the throne (albeit not in the top three or four positions).  As such, he will be quite the eligible bachelor and charm the ladies.  But for now, let’s just get this little prince a name already.

JUST WONDER-ing:  If you have a son, how did you come up with a name for him?


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