As The Windsor World Turns

Although “The Crown,” a historical drama series produced for Netflix, has received critical acclaim for its biographical portrayal of the reign of Queen Elizabeth II, nothing beats a reality show.  Millions of viewers are waiting with bated breath for the season finale of “As The Windsor World Turns” slated for broadcast on Saturday.  Huge ratings are guaranteed because so many juicy plot lines will come to a head.

Not since the days of the U.S. TV series “Dallas” has such an interest in the lives, loves and scandals of a family been so captivating.  While “Dallas” gave Americans the fictional Ewings, “As The Windsor World Turns” gives us the living, breathing Windsors.  Of course, no one refers to the family members by their last name.  They are known merely by one name with a title sometimes preceding it.  Instead of Ellie, J.R., Sue Ellen, Bobby, Pam, and Lucy from the American Ewings, the English Windors have Elizabeth, Charles, Camilla, William, Kate and Harry.  But, families are families, so squabbles, scandals and snubs are to be expected and enjoyed–at least by the viewers.

“Dallas” famously ended one season with the shooting of older son and love to hate him bad guy, J.R.  Viewers were abuzz with the oft-repeated question  “Who shot J.R.?”  Guns are frowned upon in jolly old England, so no shooting is anticipated in this week’s Windsor season finale.  The Brits, as well as many of us across the pond, are buzzing with concern as to “Who’ll escort Meghan?”

How clever of the Windsors to end their season with the much anticipated wedding between Harry and Meghan, a time for family members to put on their best duds and behave their worst.  A wedding, of course, is a good venue to bring family drama to a head because relatives are forced to come face to face.  As the previews have revealed, the Windsors may be royal, but they are really just like the rest of us when it comes to a weddings. Love may be in the air for the bride and groom, but a wedding is a time when simmering family feuds rise to the surface.  The Windsors will be no exception.

For those who have not been keeping up with the story line, let’s provide a bit of a background.  The groom is the handsome son of a beloved princess who, unfortunately, took after her name, i.e., Di did die, and tragically at that.  But before her death, she did not live happily ever after because her hubby, Prince Charming–er Prince Charles, was carrying on with a former flame during their marriage leading to a DI-vorce.

The former flame ultimately married her Prince Charming to the great chagrin of the Queen who has referred to her daughter-in-law as “that wicked woman.”  (Hope the seating chart at the wedding reception keeps these two women on opposite sides of the castle.)  Prince Charles, in the meantime, is fixated on if Mummy Dearest, age 92 and still going strong, will ever retire and give him the opportunity to sit on the throne before he is forced to sit in a wheelchair.

The groom’s older brother, William, is none too happy about having to get all gussied up to attend the royal wedding.  His latest bundle of joy has been keeping him up at night to the extent that he is nodding off at official functions.  And, gosh darn, the wedding celebration conflicts with a big polo match he wants to attend.  He hopes to sneak out unnoticed to attend it.  Ha! Good one, Wills!

William’s wife, Kate, is also tired from popping out the third heir to the throne she has produced in the last five years.  Who said a princess has an easy life?  Just last month she left the hospital mere hours after giving birth having to be impeccably dressed and coiffed for a photo shoot outside the hospital door.  Now she has to get all dolled up and corral her four year old son and three year old daughter into being a page boy and a page girl at their uncle’s wedding  Bet Kate would probably be napping.  Perhaps she could hire a lookalike to attend in her place.

Then there’s poor Princess Eugenie, Harry’s cousin.  Although she’s engaged as well, no one cares about her.  Her cousins have succeeded not only in stealing her engagement limelight as well as pushing her down in the line of succession to the throne.  How much press has her upcoming October wedding to what’s his name received?

But as snubbed as Eugenie feels, her mother has gotten the public shaft.  Fergie (no relation to the Black Eyed Peas singer), the ex-wife of Prince Andrew with whom she still shares a home (two can live as cheaply as one, you know), has not been invited to the exclusive evening wedding reception being thrown by her former father-in-law, Charles.  You know Charles–the Queen’s son, Di’s ex, Harry’s father and “that wicked woman’s” current husband.

Just to add a little comic relief to the Windsor family drama, there’s the bride’s family.  Well, they aren’t much of a family, but they are related by blood, seemingly bad blood.  Meghan’s half-brother wrote an open letter to Harry telling him to ditch Meghan.  With family like that, who needs enemies? Meghan’s half-sister, in cahoots with Meghan’s father, arranged for some staged paparazzi pictures of the father of the bride.  The arrangement became public, things blew up and the FOB had a heart attack at some point causing him to announce he’d forgo walking his little girl down the aisle.  Wait!  Just kidding!  He’ll do it after all.  Oops!  Now he can’t because of the urgent need for heart surgery.  Who can keep up with all these plot twists?

Which brings us back to the big question of who we will see coming down the aisle on Saturday.  Sure all eyes will be on the bride if only to see whose arm she is holding as she makes her way down the aisle to her own Prince Charming, Harry.  What a crazy start for this couple trying to live happily ever after.

Yes, I confess I will be watching “As The Windsor World Turns” on Saturday.  Sadly, the show is not a fictional series but people’s real lives.  Truth is indeed stranger than fiction.  And given the reality of Windsor life, clearly being a royal isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.  Royals may live in castles, but they also live in a fish bowl.

Just WONDER-ing:  Do you plan to watch the royal wedding?  Is there a place for royalty in today’s world?  Would YOU want to a royal?

 

 

 

 

 

The Little Prince — He Who Has No Name

 

The world is waiting with bated breath to find out what the name of the newest British royal will be.  Some no doubt find a fascination with this current event puzzling.  But would you rather hear about a baby name or shootings at Waffle House?  Yes, that’s what I thought.  Baby names it is then.

In case you have been living under a rock, let me inform you that Kate Middleton gave birth to her third child with hubby Prince William earlier this week.  Although she was able to recover quickly from childbirth and sashay out of her luxurious hospital suite impeccably coiffed and attired less than seven hours after birth, naming her second son is taking Kate a tad more time.  In fact, we are at three days and counting.

Why the delay?  It’s not like Kate and her beloved Wills have not had sufficient time to consider this parental task.  Because she suffered from  hyperemenis gravidarum (exteme nausea) which impacted her ability to carry out official duties, Kate’s pregnancy was announced way back in early in September.  Accordingly, the royal couple was on notice quite some time ago that a baby name would be needed in a few months.

Oddsmakers are having a field day with what name the bouncing baby boy will be given.  Apparently the British will bet on anything.  Here in the former colonies we are more concerned with betting on what team will be named the champion than what name some newborn will have placed on his birth certificate.  Arthur and Albert are the odds on favorites for a name choice.  Arthur is more royal a name as it evokes images of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table.  I personally think of Fat Albert and not a prince when I heard the name Albert. Thumbs down on that choice from me.

While I do not know what Prince George and Princess Charlotte’s little bro will be named, I can tell you what he will NOT be named.  This bouncing baby boy weighed in at a whopping 8 lbs. 7 oz, the heaviest British royal baby in over 100 years.  Despite their baby’s large size, Wills and Kate are too proper to name their BIG bundle of joy Bruiser.  The baby is the third child for the couple, but Trey is just too preppy to befit a royal.  Toss that one out with the baby’s bath water.

Commoners frequently turn to baby books to peruse thousands of names available for a moniker for their offspring.  Somehow I do not picture Wills and Kate pouring over such a resource and discussing names such as Jaxon, Owen, Hunter and Brayden during afternoon tea.

Perhaps the royal couple would like to make a political statement with the name they choose for the latest addition to their family. “Donald” might be considered for improving relations with the former colonies n/k/a the United States.  Then, again, maybe not.  After that ugly spy poisoning incident, relations with Russia are at rock bottom.  Maybe “Vladimir” could be used for some friendlier relations with the Putin regime.  Unfortunately, that choice is not too subtle and would receive the diplomatic thumbs down.  The Queen seemed quite taken with dashing Canadian PM Justin Trudeau.  Great-grandma could have her own tiny Justin to make her blush if that name is chosen.

Many baby names are taken from popular figures in books or movies.  “James,” as in Bond, James Bond, would be pretty awesome.  I mean even the Queen make a clip with James Bond for the London Olympics.  How could she object?  Then there’s “Elton.”  Sir Elton John was a good friend of Diana’s and is a music legend.  Uh, no.  Grandma Camilla would never stand for that.  (She and Diana were not exactly BFF’s.)

Since the British monarch is heavy on tradition, a family name is a safe bet for the name with which the infant will be saddled — er, will have bestowed upon him.  And to be precise, Mum and Dad will need to come up with not one but several names.  Prince William’s name is William Arthur Philip Louis.  Uncle Harry is Henry Charles Albert David.  Grandpa is Charles Philip Arthur George.

One thing we do know for sure.  The child’s surname is Windsor.  The royal family’s official last name has been Windsor since World War I.  In 1917 the name was changed to Windsor from Saxe-Coburg and Gotha due to anti-German sentiment. (Not to mention that the former name was too long and tedious to write.)  Even Windsor is too long for Queen Elizabeth who merely signs, “Elizabeth R.”  with the “R” standing for “Regina” (Queen).

Whatever the little prince is named, he will ultimately grow up to be Prince Charming.  Whether he is good-looking or not and whether he is actually charming or not will be irrelevant.  He will be a real live prince and in line to succeed to the throne (albeit not in the top three or four positions).  As such, he will be quite the eligible bachelor and charm the ladies.  But for now, let’s just get this little prince a name already.

JUST WONDER-ing:  If you have a son, how did you come up with a name for him?